I used to work at a little wine bar in Petersfield, England in the early 90’s. I was a nanny for two little boys who went to school so after I dropped them off I went and did the lunch shift at the bar. We served “jacket potatoes”, which are baked potatoes, with various topping such as prawn(shrimp), chili,etc. and it served a full dinner menu at night, which I helped prep. But my favorite was waitressing. But honestly, I was horrible at it from a business sense of turnover. Because I would spend too long talking to people taking their orders. I would try to rein it in, honestly I would, but my accent was always a conversation starter and the fact they thought Canada was one of the 50 states required some serious redirection. I got amazing tips though.
I love going to a restaurant when we can afford it , the food is simple and local, and we have time- a rare trifecta now, I’m afraid. But when we do , I want to go where people are alive and have personality.
But it’s so unusual now. And I understand why people want the drive-thru culture: the sameness, not having to think about what you are eating, it’s the same everytime….
Because interacting with people and being personal with an actual human takes up head space.
WHO wants to be personal nowadays ??? That’s why the internet is so popular. I can just use this machine to speak to you, and when I’m done I can just shut you off. I don’t see the true costs.
I met someone the other day who follows me online at the farmers market. She was so surprised I was there, like actually in the flesh. Now honestly, my dear friends, in the virtual sense, I’m small potatoes. It was flattering but a little alarming.
The interactions I have at the farmers market are a huge part of my week. I enjoy them. They are alive, usually stimulating conversations with people in my community. Each one different and unique.
Compare this to the sameness of what is encouraged now by larger corporations and glorified in industry.
They are supposed to do everything the same every time. Same greeting, same food same technique, same experience.
There is no time for uniqueness. They barely make eye contact and don’t have time to talk.
And what of us, the consumer of this culture ?
We can go order food through a machine and it will be the same every time. Same with the experience. We can still thinking of our long list of things to do and we can order without really engaging -not with the food, not with the person who made it, not with the person who grew it.
By no means, am I placing any of this responsibility on the shoulders of the worker in this system. They are usually living locally and putting their wages back into the community. They are getting by.
After a wet morning of tending the other farm, I found myself wanting a tea. In Shelburne, we have a really great small refreshment trailer, run by Sarah, called Swell Coffee. The London Fog is my favorite. In Barrington, I will sometimes treat myself to the same type of drink but at Salty Shores Cafe they call it “Cape Fog “, named after Cape Sable Island, the island we live on. See how personal that experience is ?
But as I was hitting the intersection where you turn right to do the big chain drive thru or left to go to Swell, the thought crossed my mind “I’m wet, I’m tired, and I don’t want to talk.”
So here is where the rubber hits the road with intention. Literally and figuratively, I’m at a crossroads.
I’m gonna have to get out of my truck, there may be other people around and I will have to talk to an actual person to place an order. I genuinely love the owner. We have a lot in common (burning passion to decentralize food systems obviously being one of them ) but I was surprised by my own thinking of wanting to just skip the chit chat for convenience, and wouldn’t it have been better for me during this busy week just to be able to roll up to the drive-through grab my two dollar tea and roll away?
What kind of experience is that? What does this say about how I’ve prioritized rest in my week? Because obviously if I don’t have space for such a small thing, I am doing something wrong.
I do understand why we have become this way. I think everyone with eyes and half a brain can see what is happening when we don’t allow ourselves room for small, personal interactions every day. We stop prioritizing individuals. It becomes about sameness and thinking we are freeing up mental space. But what are we actually using that mental space for? I’m not convinced we aren’t just using it for more scrolling, more busy work, and more consumption. We are bombarded with ten thousand ads online a day. No wonder we are tired.
In my opinion, the last four years of being told to step away from people hasn’t helped.
It’s literally minutes a day we may be losing but overall the total cost of losing these small connections is costing us plenty.
I just kept driving the 30 minutes to home. Being without caffeine wasn’t going to make me commit a crime.
If I couldn’t be bothered to make room for dealing with a real person, perhaps what I needed was rest. Maybe what I needed was to go home, have a cup of tea and a nap.
Love Jenn xx
