This life we live, part 1 of 2:
We were doing chores and I was mending a gate with some bailing twine (of course) I had in my pocket. My grandson asked me why I had rope in my pocket and I told him “All real farmers keep bailing twine and a pocket knife in their pockets.”
When I was doing his chore suit up later for the laundry, I found this in his pocket❤️
It really hits home to me how much I don’t know, but what I DO know I have a responsibility to pass on to my children, my grandchildren and my community,
It takes time to teach the things I take for granted, because I grew up around it: canning, preserving, animal husbandry, using all parts of the animal, and growing our own food.
And we always think we don’t have enough time.
When our four children were little, all under the age of ten, I can remember thinking (like most parents at some point or another ) “I just need to get this done, child, please stop asking me why !”
Now that they are older, I find I take more time to explain.
Not because I have more “time “( I don’t).
It’s because I see the gaps in my knowledge and
It’s because I see the value in simplicity.
And maybe they will use these simple lessons to lead a simple life or maybe they won’t. Maybe they will find a happy hybrid. But if they do, they will have the skills, they had the simple time to observe, ask the questions , and use whatever “sticks”.
I must have seen a hundred uses for bailing twine as a kid. And maybe one of my relatives told me the same thing I just told my grandson and it stuck. Or maybe they were busy and just needed to get the job done. But I watched.
We just don’t know what will stick, do we?
If we slow down, look at our lives, simplify, give ourselves room to breathe, and ask questions , in my experience lots will “stick”.
Part two of this post may not be of a popular opinion, I’m just warning you now. 😉
Now, I’ve just got to find out what that cutie pie did with my pocket knife.
This life we live:Part 2 of 2
He should be at hockey this morning. I should be carting his uncle Luke to soccer/ hockey in Halifax, and of course there is horse, as well .
What happens to our families when we “farm” out (pun intended) the majority of our time for children to learn “life skills” and “team building “ in youth sports ?
We are on the other side of this and if I could tell my younger self anything it would be :
Youth sports has around it an urgency to participate that pretends to be necessary. Read that again.
After four children have been in youth sports (mostly figure skating& hockey). We did this running around, after working full time all week, almost every weekend for twenty years. We were exhausted, over stretched, and broke.
It shaped what time we did have together here on our homestead into tactical plans for attack: you go there , We need to leave now, we need money for these extra lessons, etc.
I hear you now: “but you chose to put your kids in them.”
We did . And we would do it all over again.But different. Oh, so very different.
We wouldn’t believe our children would “fall behind” or “lose their skills” if we didn’t put them in the expensive lessons/hockey schools all the other kids were going in. We didn’t need to sacrifice our family meals night after night for extra ice time or farm out developing our children’s character to extra “team building events”.
Some of you will read this and think:
“Gosh, you’re right . I feel this urgency seeping into our lives and I hate it.”
“It may have been like that for you, but we have this under control and balanced.” I am cheering you on to stay the course
“yeah but my kid is really good at __ loves it so much, so we are investing in them. Your kid doesn’t love it as much/ isn’t as good at it as mine “. Yah, I’ve heard that parent a lot over the years. Toxic.
We have great memories of youth sports. And still do. I don’t even understand what creates this culture of urgency and FOMO. But it’s increasing.
We don’t want to “farm out “ the values, and skills our children /grandchildren need for this world to youth sports anymore.
We are going our own way.
Love Jenn xx